Everyone grew up with certain messages about eating. Some families had three regular meals each day at specific times, some families grabbed something on the go when they had time, and others grazed all day on leftovers. So many factors go into a family's eating habits: whether there is someone at home with the time to prepare thoughtful meals, whether there is enough money to buy quality food, whether there is enough education about nutrition to plan what they are going to eat, etc.
As you got older, you may have realized that the patterns you learned as a child stick with you today. For example, my models for eating oscillated between times of figurative "famine" (parents working, haven't been grocery shopping in a while, not much around the house), and times of literal "feast" (going out to dinner, McDonald's for breakfast, making cookies after dinner, etc). Those patterns stuck with me as an adult, and I have had to work hard to develop some healthy habits and break free from those cycles--particularly the "feast" part.
I clearly remember the joy and happiness and freedom associated with times of "feast" (particularly when we were with our dad). Since we were only with him two nights a week, he lovingly indulged us in whatever we wanted--it was like a mini-vacation for all of us. I can vividly remember the restaurants we went to, and how good the cheeseburgers tasted, and the anticipation of waiting for the chocolate chip cookies to finish cooking. Those are very clear memories tied with very strong emotions--pretty powerful to overcome when I was trying to develop healthier eating patterns.
Of course I am still susceptible to the power of those messages I received as a child. When I am tired or lonely or bored, my heart still tells me that overindulging in food will make me feel better...even though my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. It's hard to break free from the incredible influence of those emotional associations.
The first step in moving toward a new framework for eating is acknowledging the history and events that influence the way you eat. Once I started realizing these powerful ties between food cravings and emotional needs, I could slowly start to deconstruct them. I can replace overindulgence with things that genuinely comfort me (self-improvement, time with loved ones, self-respect, improving my home environment, reading, etc).
Suddenly I crave meaningful things, rather than self-destructive things that only provide a temporary and superficial comfort.
There is an enormous freedom in not being subject to mindless cravings. It does take a little extra planning (for example, I really need to be thoughtful at the end of a long day when I am tired and stressed and in need of comfort), but it is definitely possible to start new habits. Some of my successful strategies include:
1) carefully planning meals (so I don't have to be creative or responsible when I am feeling emotionally weak)
2) taking some time to decompress and focus on my inner self before I eat
3) moving on to something else after I am finished eating (i.e. not continuing to sit in front of the TV and snack after a meal is over)
4) doing something that really nourishes me (such as reading, or yoga, or writing a blog post)
Part of the process of becoming an adult is to recognize and acknowledge the patterns you were raised with, but also realize that they are not your destiny. We are all constantly evolving, and it is possible to create a new reality for yourself at any given moment. Develop your own action steps to move toward healthier eating patterns. The desire isn't enough--you need a plan.
Happy Monday!
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