Have you ever gone to a professional who is supposed to be helping you with some aspect of your life, and found yourself silently critiquing them? For example, a dermatologist with bad skin, or a spinning instructor who's obese, or a marriage counselor who clearly has relationship issues...
Like that doctor in Forest Gump...the one who's fat and smoking during the exam...you automatically question their authority, don't you? Or find yourself thinking things like, "Why should I listen to you? You clearly don't know how to be [healthy/thin/happy]."
I find myself struggling with that awareness about myself: why would people want to take health advice from someone who is still struggling with her weight and health? AND, why aren't I healthy and thin yet?
There are a thousand different factors that determine a person's health and body mass. Family history, genetics, the culture you were raised in, the food choices available to you, where you live, your natural appetite, your metabolism rate, your body type, your knowledge about health, and your fragility.
All my life, I've been comparing myself to other people. Especially since my best friend weighed about 90 pounds all throughout high school and never seemed to crave all the unhealthy things I craved. I was constantly wondering why I should struggle with my weight, and feel sick all the time, and have back problems, and gallbladder disease, and be constantly starving, and she and so many other people just seemed to be able to stay thin and eat normally and not have chronic pain.
Listen To, and Respect, Your Body
I always thought I was cursed, fragile, unlucky. Then, I suddenly realized how lucky I was to be so in tune with my body's needs. When I ate crappy food, I felt like crap. When I didn't exercise, I felt awful. When I didn't drink enough water, my body let me know in a hundred different ways. I slowly got the message that I didn't have to wonder how to be healthy, like so many people probably did. My body was giving me all the answers--all I had to do was listen. It was like having a treasure map handed to you--naturally you will encounter obstacles along the way, but you have a very clear idea of the course you need to follow.
Those people who could eat anything and feel fine, or don't need to exercise to stay thin, aren't necessarily healthy. They just don't have as sensitive a bio-feedback response as I do. They could probably eat cheeseburgers and milkshakes every day of their lives and feel fine, but still drop dead of a heart attack at age 50. How lucky am I that my body won't let me do that!
Health is not a destination...it's a journey. You don't arrive at health one day, wipe your brow, and declare success. Health is a process of learning more about yourself, and doing the best you can to support your body, and finding happiness. Health is a means to an end...the "end" being enjoying the best life possible. Health is also always evolving...what is healthy for you at age 20 is certainly not going to be the same as when you're 70...so you have to keep learning, and keep listening, and keep trying.
For me, health means having a passion to feel better, trying different ways to nourish myself the best way possible, and being happy. Somewhere along the way, I hope to overcome my sugar addiction and permanently get control over what I put in my mouth at night, and get to my "ideal weight," whatever that means. But for now, I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself.
I'm not perfect, but I'm honest, and I'm trying.
And if anyone questions my authority on health because I'm not super thin or in perfect health, I guess my best response would be that I eat better and exercise more than 90% of the people I know, and this is the body I was given, and I'm learning to love it and support it, and I'm on the same journey as everyone else.
T-G-I-a beautiful, sunny-F!
Love, Teddey
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