Willpower

In the arena of health and fitness, there's a lot of jabber about willpower. We probably all think of willpower as our ability to make ourselves do something we really don't want to do, or, conversely, avoid doing something we really do want to do.

The first two definitions on Wikipedia are:

• Self-discipline, training and control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement
• Self-control, the ability of a person to exert his/her will over the inhibitions of their body or self

For many, I think this concept implies sacrifice and a little bit of self-punishment. If only we were strong enough, we could accomplish what we really want to do. And when we don't succeed, we berate ourselves for being weak.

There are many things in life where I truly believe you should avoid things you don't like. For example, I don't think people should eat foods that don't agree with them. I don't think people should stay in relationships that aren't working for them. It's easy to think you're giving up, but I prefer to think you're honoring your intuition about what is best for you. I think you should find ways to eat and take care of yourself that don't require a lot of effort (willpower), so you can stick with them.

However, when it comes to exercise, I think a little willpower is necessary to get going. I think about this often when I wake up and get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realize I have to go for a run before heading to work. I suppose there may come a point in my life when I don't feel this way, but it hasn't happened yet!

For some reason, I always dread exercise. The only way I can get through it some days is to go first thing when I wake up, before I have time to think about it. But, once I get started, I always love it. And, once I am finished, and am so elated that I did it.

Most days, it requires raw willpower to get out the door. If I spent one extra minute thinking about whether I feel like running or walking or spinning or lifting weights, I would never do it. 

Yesterday is a perfect example: my husband and I made an agreement to get to the gym together twice a week. After all, we're paying for the membership, so we might as well use it.  I already exercise quite a lot, but he doesn't do any regular activity (other than what is required for his job). He works a lot, and it doesn't leave a lot of time for exercising. However, we can make time for it if we sacrifice a little of our fun time (which, let's just say, doesn't necessarily revolve around healthy activities). I need to cross-train more, so we agreed to lift weights once a week and go to spinning once a week.

If there is one thing I hate more than anything in the world, it's exercising late in the day. I love to get it over with and enjoy the self-righteous glow that follows me around whenever I run in the morning. When I wait until later in the day to exercise, I dread it all day long. Yesterday, we were signed up for the 6pm spinning class at the gym. Bill got home in plenty of time to get there, and I had even already changed my clothes for class. When he came in the door, he could tell something was wrong. I whined, "I don't want to go to spin!"  He said, "C'mon...let's just go. We really should."  I replied: "OK, go get changed and don't say another word to me about it." My commitment was wavering and I knew any further discussion would lead to us throwing in the towel and parking our butts on the sofa.

I grudgingly got in the car and we went to class. I sat on my bike frowning and wishing to God the power would go out and we'd be forced to go home. HOWEVER, once the class started and my blood got moving, I felt great! I spinned like I've never spun before! My legs felt strong and I was happy and sweaty and smiling! And, of course, afterward I was chatty and happy and energetic. We came home and made a delicious dinner together and had a great night.

I have to remember details like this, so next time I feel like exercising is the last thing I want to do on the face of the earth, I remember how much it has changed my life, and how it has squashed my depression, and how strong I am, and how great I'll feel afterward.

So, I am a little unsure about the concept of willpower in general, but when it comes to getting my butt to spin class, I definitely need all the willpower I can get.